Never let Terra mix your drinks, never let Adam buy your steak.

Dan Hulton — Mon, 31 May 2010 14:57:27 +0000

So this weekend past, we had a BBQ at our house to celebrate having lived there for two full years (despite the fact that we’re only going to be there for two months more). Our landlord Charbel, fool that he is, asked Adam to choose a steak for him, as he’s grown to appreciate Adam’s choice in steaks.

This decision came back to bite him in the ass pretty much immediately, as this is what Adam picked out for steaks:

Adam’s steak is the one in the rear, weighing in at precisely 1 kilogram. Charbel’s is the one in front, weighing in at 1.2kg. That’s about the weight of both of your lungs, for reference.

Nevertheless, Charbel is filled with determination!

Look at that thing though, it’s the size of his freaking head!

Forsaking knife and fork, Charbel tears into his steak:

Literally.

However, it soon becomes clear that Adam is pulling ahead of Charbel. It’s sort of close though, considering that Charbel has a fifth of a kilogram more steak to go through.

Charbel can’t figure out how he does it.

It’s not even a contest any more.

Charbel is amazed, and perhaps a little overawed.

Adam has dominated Charbel.

The final bite:

Now, more than ever, Charbel is determined to finish this monstrosity in front of him.

Or is he?

Adam adds a little humilation to the mix.

Lest ye think you could best Charbel in this contest, look at how thick that goddamn steak is.

Defeated, Charbel asks Lisa for help.

Lisa polishes off Charbel’s meal. Or, at least that forkful.

Overall, an excellent BBQ that we will have to repeat before we vacate the premises. And perhaps you could bring your appetite next time, Charbel?

The Colony

Dan Hulton — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 18:26:05 +0000

So I found this new reality show. I know what you’re thinking – “Man, fuck reality shows. Those are for bored housewives who do nothing but sit around eating bonbons all day.” Well fuck, aside from the “bored”, “housewife”, “bonbons”, and “nothing but sit around”, that’s me to a T.

(For those of you playing the home game, that makes me a “who do eating all day”. That’s fucked up.)

Anyway, the show is called “The Colony”, and it’s about a group of people who are herded into an abandoned industrial lot, told that the world has ended, and they must survive this post-industrial wasteland with nothing more than what they can scavenge, build, or steal.

Considering I just got through playing Fallout 3, I am in exactly the right frame of mind to enjoy this show. I basically scavenged and stole the entirety of Washington, DC.

Here, let me give you a little excerpt from the wikipedia page about episode one:

Episode 1

Phase	Context	Description
Phase 1: Sleep Deprivation	Shock and Fatigue	To simulate the stress survivors experience in the aftermath of a disaster, the volunteers are kept awake for thirty hours with almost no food or water.
Phase 2: Looting	Scarcity of Supplies	Mentally drained, the first six volunteers were given fifteen minutes in an abandoned department store to scavenge as many resources as they can carry.
Phase 3: The Marauders	Resource Competition	Ten minutes into scavenging, a gang of looters are sent in to steal the volunteer’s supplies.
Phase 4: River Walk	Search for Shelter	Before arriving at the colony, the volunteers haul their 200 pounds of looted supplies eight miles down the Los Angeles River.
Phase 5: Arrival and Survival	Rebuilding Begins	The six colonists arrive at an 80,000 square foot warehouse on a three and a half acre plot of land. They are supplied with rudimentary materials, tools, and a small supply of food and water. How they use these resources is up to them.

Now tell me that doesn’t sound badass. I’m sure it’ll be fucked up by the normal reality-show drama nonsense that the producers seem to love putting in regardless of how cool the concept is, but this is such a cool concept that I’m going to have to give it a try.

Hopefully I can catch Episode 1 tonight and report back.

Dan Hulton's blog » Raw Entertainment

Never let Terra mix your drinks, never let Adam buy your steak.

The Colony

Episode 1