Straight-up complimentary, no charges, no sign-ups or anything silly.

I’m in the station just now and the speed is grand – we’ll just have to see how it goes on the train itself.

This decision came back to bite him in the ass pretty much immediately, as this is what Adam picked out for steaks:

Adam’s steak is the one in the rear, weighing in at precisely 1 kilogram. Charbel’s is the one in front, weighing in at 1.2kg. That’s about the weight of both of your lungs, for reference.

Nevertheless, Charbel is filled with determination!

Look at that thing though, it’s the size of his freaking head!

Forsaking knife and fork, Charbel tears into his steak:

Literally.

However, it soon becomes clear that Adam is pulling ahead of Charbel. It’s sort of close though, considering that Charbel has a fifth of a kilogram more steak to go through.

Charbel can’t figure out how he does it.

It’s not even a contest any more.

Charbel is amazed, and perhaps a little overawed.

Adam has dominated Charbel.

The final bite:

Now, more than ever, Charbel is determined to finish this monstrosity in front of him.

Or is he?

Adam adds a little humilation to the mix.

Lest ye think you could best Charbel in this contest, look at how thick that goddamn steak is.

Defeated, Charbel asks Lisa for help.

Lisa polishes off Charbel’s meal. Or, at least that forkful.

Overall, an excellent BBQ that we will have to repeat before we vacate the premises. And perhaps you could bring your appetite next time, Charbel?

I start Monday.

As I was crossing Rideau, this Russian man (or at least a man with a Russian accent) turns around, looks me right in the eye, and asks, “How long does it take you to wash your hair?

“Uh, not long,” I reply.

“Me, it takes only three minutes. Because you see, I have only three hairs! Ha!”

We laugh, me a little uncomfortably, as I am not sure exactly what is going on.

He gets serious again. “But! Do you have to use conditioner, or something like that?”

“Oh, no. I only use conditioner like… twice a month, if I remember.”

“Wonderful! You are very lucky, to have hair like that!”

“Thanks,” I say, as he immediately turns his back on me, smiling broadly, and hustles off.

The strangest thing.

1. Lose 30 lbs. I don’t want a perfect body, but I do want to get rid of this spare tire I’m lugging around. Getting down to 195 would do most of that.

FAIL. I weigh as much as last year at this time, almost to the pound.

2. Exercise 3x weekly, for at least 30 minutes. I’m going to keep a journal and everything.

FAIL. I lasted until early February.

3. Launch BillOnSite. There’ll be more on this later, but I think I have a real winner (or at least some real potential) here.

WIN! I actually launched the site! That said, I haven’t really developed it into a winner yet.

4. Pay off my PC Financial Mastercard. My strategy here is that every non-rent paycheque is used to reduce it a further $500 from last time. So if it’s at $2000 and I spend $40 in the intervening time, I have to put $540 on it to “catch up”. I don’t know how well that will work, but even if it doesn’t, I should still be able to pay the whole thing off this year.

FAIL. Though getting laid off sure didn’t help.

New Goals for 2010

1. Lose 30 lbs. This one I’m carrying over, since it’s pretty worthwhile.
2. Develop Bill On Site into something at at least pays its own bills.
3. Pay off my PC Financial Mastercard. Again, I’m carrying this over. Hopefully this year I won’t be laid off halfway through it and I can afford to throw money at it until it’s dead.
4. Have a playable demo. I’m working on a game now – name unknown, but it goes by “Zombie Fortress” until I can dig up a better one – and I want to have something I can actually show someone so they understand how the game plays. It’s one of those sandbox games where the attention to detail really makes the game, so I’m not planning on finishing it this year, but I want to be able to load it up and say “So look, the survivor goes over here and he picks up the gas can, but there’s a zombie there and he’s a cowardly survivor, so he drops the gas can and runs. Neat, huh?”

Unachievable goal: Rig the lottery so that Stephen Harper wins six times in a row, even though he’s not playing, and he undergoes an embarassing investigation. The scandal loses him the Prime Minister’s seat.

In other news, while not a goal or a resolution, I do plan on blogging more. It occurs to me that more things of note happened to me in ’09 than are reflected on this blog, and that’s kind of a shame. I mean, nowhere on here does it say how I’m now working for The Hill Times in downtown Ottawa, and loving it. I mean, what the heck’s the point of that?

Okay, rather, I figured I’d have the fortitude to resist writing such a post, but I at least figured I’d want to.

But see, I got laid off earlier today and frankly, I’m not upset at all.

I’m not upset with the company – I wish them the very best. They have some neat technology and if it pans out (and it looks like it will), then they’re going to clobber the marketplace. I’m not upset with anyone left behind – these things are usually as hard on them as they are on those that got laid off, and everyone still working there is good people that I just don’t wish this on. And I’m not upset with the management either – they were faced with a tough decision. They’d cut every non-staff expense they could (we watched and noticed and were grateful), but this economy is brutal and people are loathe to commit to purchasing decisions, which affects their bottom line.

And it’s not like I’m going to be in dire straights or anything. Since I was laid off, I can get EI for Quite Some Time, or even better, Ontario offers a Self-Employment Grant that you can get if you’re otherwise eligible for EI. Since I wanted more time to work on Bill On Site, then this may actually work out to my benefit.

Ultimately, I’m choosing not to think of this as a setback, but rather as a hell of an opportunity.

Goals have certain qualifications. They must be specific, measurable, realistic, and time-bound. So goals like “lose some weight” are right out, because it’s not specific. Goals like “become mayor of the earth” are, again, right out – not realistic.

So given that, here’s my goals for 2009:

1. Lose 30 lbs. I don’t want a perfect body, but I do want to get rid of this spare tire I’m lugging around. Getting down to 195 would do most of that.
2. Excersize 3x weekly, for at least 30 minutes. I’m going to keep a journal and everything.
3. Launch BillOnSite. There’ll be more on this later, but I think I have a real winner (or at least some real potential) here.
4. Pay off my PC Financial Mastercard. My strategy here is that every non-rent paycheque is used to reduce it a further $500 from last time. So if it’s at $2000 and I spend $40 in the intervening time, I have to put $540 on it to “catch up”. I don’t know how well that will work, but even if it doesn’t, I should still be able to pay the whole thing off this year.

I am going to make one resolution though, since I have a sort of tradition of including one un-keepable resolution with each year’s list. This year’s will be…

“Punch out Bill Gates in a proper boxing match.”

I’ve got nothing against the guy (actually, I rather admire him), but the chances of me being anywhere NEAR a boxing ring at the same time as him are rather slim, let alone there being a pugilistic agreement between the two of us.

Good luck with the new year, everyone!

Clearly, I’m not talking about physical fights here; I’m not a violent man, nor do I participate in martial combat that would pit me against the fairer sex. Rather, I’m speaking about your average, run-of-the-mill domestic conflict: the argument.

I doubt I’m alone in this – to a great degree my relationships have been successful (except ultimately at the end, where clearly they were not). But when things went south, and we commenced arguing, things got very confusing.

But then I read an article by Michael Crichton on how to properly conduct a domestic dispute. Or, at least that’s what it would be called, were it targetted to a school or other educational facility.

The really interesting thing about this article actually, is that it was written for Playboy Magazine, and as such, it was targetted at Playboy readers. The article talks a lot about “winning” a fight with a woman, but then goes to great lengths to define “winning” as something other than traditionally known.

Traditionally, the winner of a fight leaves his opponent bruised and bloody, unable to fight back. A boxing match ends with one man standing, the other unable. But Crichton is crafty, and ultimately defines winning in terms that are beneficial to both parties – a win by Crichton’s standard is a win for the relationship, not simply for the man. And yet his terminology, his tone – they both call out to the competative nature in a man. It’s beautiful – a guy following these instructions will lead an argument to a proper, mutually beneficial resolution, and yet sleep well at night, knowing he accomplished his goal, and “won” the argument by his terms.

Regardless of the fantastic misdirection, I have to recommend this article to all the men I know (and some of the women as well, even if just to understand how the other side views yours). It explains a lot of the mysteries behind a lot of women’s actions, and many tactics you can use to successfully resolve situations that in the past may have lead to disaster.